Motherhood. Welcome to motherhood.
Becoming parents isn't the easiest thing. Well, getting pregnant is usually pretty easy. Its the rest of your life that could be challenging. Challenging, but worth it.
I'd love to go off on some tangent about pregnancy enabling you to understand children. (For instance, you can now relate to toddlers who pee their pants and scream when they're hungry.) However, I will suffice it to say that pregnancy is great preparation for being a mom. (I suppose that having a pregnant wife is great preparation for being a dad.)
Today is the first day in my series about preparing for parenthood. As a parent you are going to face the unknown. Fearlessly. (Or not.) You are no longer simply in charge of your own life. Now what you do will affect and be reflected by your children. *No pressure.*
Open up your heart to learn! There are a few things I have noticed about learning: If you have an open heart to learn, you will end up wise. If you apply what you learn to your life, you will avoid many pitfalls. A humble hearted person is quick to listen, willing to sort through things, and will carefully apply what is right into her life and thought patterns... That is priceless.
As you begin to approach parenthood you will find that their is a plethora of information out there. Its overwhelming. My first advice is: Go to a birthing class. Sounds kinda obvious, but I'm always surprised by how many people don't. And please, go to a GOOD one. A class that teaches you not just what the interventions do FOR you, but the possible things they could do TO you. One that shows you more than one way to have the baby. Learn about eating healthy, working together as a couple, and clear communication. They aren't just things that will help you in labor, they will help you for the rest of your life!
Reading is a great resource for me whenever I am pregnant. I realize not everyone loves to read as much as I do. But finding a few great books by different authors helped me to get a ton of information that I needed, as well as each book balancing out the others. Take things that sound inspirational or practical for you, and write them in your birthing notes. I kept a notebook, (ok, ok, probably two,) full of notes pertaining to my labor and delivery. It was nice to have all my birthing thoughts in the same place.
One of the most important things you need to start learning right now is about working together as a team with your husband. You have a million questions that need to be answered, and the way to do it is together. There is a ton of advice to be had: internet, your birthing teacher, the books you're reading. Don't forget your friends, your family (the out-laws) and of course, the in-laws. But they aren't your child's parents. He is. (I hope. ;)
The things that are massively important to you, may not be so important to him. But talk it through. Ask questions. Tell him your reasons and ask him to tell you his. In the end, its going to be you and him, raising your kids, and having to deal with the choices you have made together. So make your choices together. Don't let decisions plus hormones equal chaos. Really. Have pow-wows, talk about how you are both feeling, what you both are thinking. If you don't reach a place of togetherness, then just come back to it later. Think about why things seem so important to each person, ask yourself where you feel like you can come to a healthy compromise. Some things are going to take a lot of time talking, comparing feelings, and sorting through details.
If you can both have areas where you compromise, and areas where you get your way, then that is a great start. If you both begin learning how to really listen to the other and know their heart, their passions, their fears, that's also a great start. Being on the same team is one of the most important things about parenting, as far as I can tell. Pray over conflicts. Ask each other to pray over the things you are talking about. Pray over decisions. Learn to embrace peace.
More "Becoming Mommy" next Monday or Tuesday.
More of my Vegan Journey on Thursday or Friday.
For now.... I'm going to get More sleep.
Our Natural Birthing Teacher (where we took classes)
Watch "Business of Being Born" (Now on netflix)
Labels: baby, communication, Dads, Fatherhood, Friends, Mom, mommy, motherhood