The Doctrine of Gift Exchanges

The first memorable gift exchange in my life was when I was about fourteen. I brought about a pound of Peanut butter fudge, and left with a really nice salt shaker and pepper grinder. I still use them to this day.
From one party to another the gift exchange game is never exactly the same, but generally has the same basic trends: Holiday generosity, silly gifts and savage thievery. Followed with an uproar of laughter and sometimes a mad friend or two. Since my "Beginner's Luck," with the salt and pepper set, I can't say that I have had the best of luck. I have had some very fun times followed by me being the one going home with the dumb gift. Boo. Stuff unimpressive enough that i don't remember most of it. So this year, after re-thinking last year's disappointments, (You know, I'm always hoping I will end up with something worth keeping,) I have come up with a new and improved doctrine on this whole "Gift Exchange/ White elephant" thing. So here it it:

~It's a game. Stupid.~
Yeah, so I'm an adult. I still have to remind myself not to be a spoiled brat.
Its a game, not a get rich quick method.

~ The fun is in the giving~
Bring a present that you will enjoy seeing people open.
And hopefully, something worth fighting for.

~On A scale from 1 to 10~
On a scale of 1 to 10, it should be between 5 and 9 in your book. This keeps you from getting mad when people don't go nuts for it. It should be good, but not ridiculously awesome.
Exception: Homemade gifts that a 10+.
Bring um' just to show off how good you are getting... you've got skills.

~Fair play~
Wrap the gift according to its audience. If is a gift related to babies, wrap it in baby shower paper. If its a girlie gift, make the outside sassy, feathery, pink. You get the idea.

~Bring something worth taking home~
If you would hate getting it, don't give it. Duh.
If its re-giftable, that's great too.

~Steal something. Just to make someone mad.~
Wrap it up, and give it to them for their birthday, or Christmas next year.
If it doesn't get stollen from you.

~Even if you lost the best present ever, don't cry.~
Unless your pregnant. Pregnant people can get away with anything.
So if you are pregnant, cry all you want.

That's it. Kinda basic, but helpful in my mind. The biggest thing, is that really, its all for a good laugh. A fun way to see people's personalities shine through. And if you are one of those people who hate it no matter what, then just go drink some eggnog.

With all that said, I must warn you,
that if you and I were to be at the same gift exchange,
you may want to know:

My husband doesn't always pick the gift he brings according to my guidelines.

Fair game. Now you know.
Happy White Elephanting!

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