the Philosophy of Loneliness

We all need someone in our lives. Someone to inspire us. A friend. Or rather, some friends.
Friend: The kind of person who you want to be around. And they want to be with you. Interestingly, friendships don't all look the same, just as sure as the people who are your are friends look different one to another. But most friendships look like this:
A relationship between two people
Who want to spend time together
Help each other out in times of need
People who accept you for who you are
Inspire you to go beyond what you have been
Laugh at your jokes

Some one who has you figured out
Or is willing to start trying to

Someone who will pray for you,
Cry to you, Kill time with you


I have been thinking and praying about friends, friendships, relationships. A lot. For the last three months this would have been on the top of my Praying and Meditating list, if I had one. Not to play blame shifter, but I can't exactly say that the generation of the 60s-70s set a great example in this area for us. What with all the love, and peace, and "commune" stuff, you would think they would have it down to a T, but really I'd say they were a bit Handicapped. I am not sure, but something kept them from going all out, and having great relationships. Ok, I said it. Now I'm moving on.
Almost everyone I have ever heard share their life story with me, has had a period in their life where they had issues with feeling rejected. It seems very Garden of Eden. Every beautiful little girl and strong little boy striving to prove to Mom, Dad, and all the kids at school that they are worth being loved. They are something to be admired. By High school, they have full fledged acting careers, trying to prove to the whole world (including themselves) that they aren't screwed up, they aren't broken. They are worth being loved, and more than everyone else. (Or alternately, trying to prove that they can be as "Freakin" broken as they want, that they are who THEY want to be, no one can stop them from EXPRESSING themselves.) Out of the insecurity of the heart comes sarcasm, preying on others, and wrong ideas of what it means to be beautiful, strong, successful. And then they are thrown out into the "real world" to find the way for themselves.
And that brings us to me, to us. We are all broken, but beautiful. Longing, searching. In loneliness comes a desperation for God. And so in this way, loneliness is a beautiful thing. It pushes us to reach out, past our fears, reaching our hand upward to be taken by the mighty hand of God. My experience is that God will allow me to feel lonely until I stop depending on other people for the security and deep down love that he alone can give. Its not a sermon, its the reality of my 20something years of breathing air. Or maybe, I just don't feel full, until it is him that is filling me. But however you say it, forward or backward, it comes down to this: My life will not feel full of love, unless it is full of God, because God. Is. Love.

I will write more about friendships, love and loneliness. Soon.