Thursday, April 28, 2016


Racial tension.
Transgender people needing to feel safe in bathrooms.
Mothers of young children needing to feel safe in bathrooms.
Donald Trump. Hilary Clinton.
Artificial intelligence.
Global warming.

My budget.
Too many things for me to worry about.

I can't say I was born a worrier. But I was definately raised as one. It's not really my parents fault. I come from a long line of worriers. Both my beautiful grandmas, bless them, were top of the line worriers. They lived through  some pretty crazy times in history, to be sure. On the other hand, lucky for them, that was before all this "news at the tip of your fingers in one instant" crap. The Internet, as far as news is concerned, has really outdone itself. Take a chill pill, World Wide Web.

I've been thinking lately how important it is, amidst the madness, to be grounded.
Grounded like, it doesn't throw you that your friends have very definite opinions and make strong statements. Grounded like, you're not destroyed by the things that bother you about the world today.
I want to be bold enough that I influence the world. But calm enough that I don't ruin my brain and my heart doing it. Not that being an influence in the world won't cost something, it will. Surely it will. I just don't want to pay interest on what it costs me. You know? And I don't want to be so ruined by my worries at this step that I have to sit the next three or four steps out caz I'm trying to recover from having gone to crazy land. Because I think that crazy land is the next stop, right after Worry Blvd. Am I right?

We need to care for ourselves, care for our hearts. To be bold enough to watch out for our beautiful hearts. And even more if we are entrusted with little ones to love, we must care for our own hearts so that we are truly available to them.

 I was thinking about the things that make me feel grounded: grass under my bare feet, (actually, literally called "grounding"!), sunshine, wind on my face. A big beautiful glass of water.
And coffee comes to mind. And exercise. And since I'm being honest, chocolate.

And friends. Not just any friends. Friends who are honest. Who care. Who are insightful, but without the addition of pride. Friends who encourage, with genuine encouragement. Who laugh and who cry.  Who ooze kindness, without getting stuck in the trap of being "nice."

Things to worry about, they ain't going nowhere. But, I'm not going anywhere either. I'm gonna be right here in my corner of the world, with my bare feet on the ground and my coffee mug in hand. And I pray to be brave, to be strong, to be kind.

And I wonder. How'd I write a whole list of things to worry about and leave out potty training and grocery shopping?
I think it's gonna be a two cup of coffee day tomorrow.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Terrible twos got nothin on three.

Terrible 2s. People always say that. As if they've never met a three year old in their life.

Walker #3, aka Boo, will be three in less than a week, and it's already started. I've done three's twice before, but I'm not ready for this. Screaming, crying, throwing himself on the floor. Because I won't let him have milk right now. I carry Boo out to the couch and gently drop him there. I continue cooking, knowing this will happen four more times at least. "Terrible twos" hath no furry like a three year old who can't have a glass of milk. Right. Now.  If I've learned anything from my former three year olds, it's this: don't encourage it. (My favorite LOTR quote, "don't encourage it, Merry.")  Boy needs sleep. Rest. And consistency. He needs to know he can have an opinion, but not a sassy attitude. He needs to know I'll always love him, but that whining won't get him any where fast. Except the couch to calm down, maybe.

If you have a three year old, or for that matter, a thirteen year old, love them. Love them endlessly. And tell them "no," calmly, when you need to. Which may also seem to be endlessly. You're not crazy. You're supposed to sound like an eight track. Repeat. Repeat. Calmly, repeatedly, teach them. One doesn't learn to be kind, patient, or polite in one day. Yeah. So good luck with that. No, seriously. Good luck.

Because, three year olds are like drunk, bipolar, irrational babies who can run faster than a cheetas, who might possibly be stronger than mom, despite being 1/3 your size. So good luck. Keep loving.

In case you wondered how the milk delema ended, Boo has fallen asleep on the couch. Maybe he'll have some milk when he wakes up. But if he *can have* milk, best bet is, he'll want water. Here's to three year olds.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Kingdom of Heaven

The greater things of universe, time and space, I cannot fully grasp. The news? Terrifying as usual. Maybe even a little extra lately.
But I just keep looking at that cubby little face, complete with scraggly banges and snotty nose.  I just keep hearing: the kingdom of heaven... Such as these. The kingdom of heaven, such as these.
So I keep on wiping that snotty nose, those poopy butts too. I keep on flailing with all my might to stay above the tsunami that is called "bedtime with small ones." I haven't  drowned yet, though some nights I come up gasping for air.  And I pray these simple acts of love and endurance, like a widow's pennies, will be much in the sight of God.  The kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Such as these.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Hello Again

Well hello there.  It's been a while.  Crazy.  I've had a baby, killed a plant, been a doula, shoveled some snow, and soaked up some sun.  I've dealt with loss, I've learned a lot, had two birthdays, chopped my hair.  What have you been up to?  I'd love to jump in and give you all the juicy details of my life, (at least the ones that this good ol' brstfeedin brain can recall.)  But I'll save all my rantin', ravin', recipe-in' for later.  For now I'll give an overview of what I've been doing since I last wrote...

I used my belly as a seat

Cleaned up a LOT of messes

Played in the snow.

Had a baby
The unfiltered, "this is real life," picture

Kissed a baby
After sleep, coffee, a shower and some make up. Plus filter.

Took pictures. Because kids just grow up so fast.

Found out that Daddy is better at brushing hair than mama.  Wow.  

Saw a baby eat some dirt.  Went to the beach. Over and over and over.  You know the drill.

Cut my hair.  Just chopped it all off. Bye bye, ponytie.

Swam in a hot spring pool.  Saw my brothers play a show at the Denver Colosseum! (Dreams come true.) Started homeschooling for preschool.  Sent my husband to Denmark to play drums. Played in the snow.  Saw family. 

 Went on a road trip. Flew with all three kids and my hubby.  Flew with all three kids by myself.  And a whole lot more.   I'm talking face painting, making a mermaid outfit, whipping homemade whipped cream for the first time, being surprised with a birthday party, you get the just.  It was a great year, although in many ways hard, and I feel like a new and revised version of the same old person.  What a whirlwind.  I wanted to bring you unto date, so that I start blogging again. So, hello.  Hello.  Good to be back.  I'm excited to see what this new year brings.


Friday, October 26, 2012

Lettuce Wraps and Lettuce Dippers

Around our house, we are always bored with food.  When I say we, I don't mean I.  I would be content to eat the same thing every day for a month.  Especially if it includes cheese or chocolate.  But the rest of our family could use a little more variety.  I'm always looking for something healthy, with plant based food, maybe even raw.  Here's a little bit of both healthy and variety.  I hope you love it as much as we do.

Kid Style: AKA, "Let's play with our food!"
Wash all the romaine, saving the larger leaves for the grownups. Divvy up the smaller romaine leaves.  Slice some veggies: cucs, carrots and dinosaur trees, (what we call broccoli) are all great choices.  Add some nuts, or chicken, or (_________), and then get a little bit of Caesar for dipping.  (I let the kids get a head start on this meal.  They take a long time to eat it, which is fine cause they eat a ton when we have this.)

Get dipping! 

   My kids are eating lots of "veggies."  They're playing with their food.  
Everybody's happy:  Mom, Dad, Kids.  We're all loving it!

Grown up style:  Have fun with this.  It's a great meal to make vegetarian, serve when you're entertaining someone who can't eat gluten, or when you're wanting to add some raw veggies to your life.

Divide the larger leaves between the grown up plates.  I think a grown up would eat between 4-7 leaves each, depending on the person, and how loaded each leaf is.  Sprinkle parmesan and mozzarella on each leaf.

Next I add chopped veggies. Usually I also add cucumbers, although last night I ran out.

If you are a meat eater (or feeding one) chicken comes next.  Just plain ol' chicken with salt and pepper.  Add some Caesar dressing to each leaf.

Usually my next step is adding slivered almonds and sunflower seeds.  I like this meal so much better if it HAS the nuts and seeds.  With them, you wouldn't even need the chicken!  At any rate, my last step is  is boiled eggs, mainly because my husband likes his "salad" to have bulk.  Yummmmmmm.

Saturday, October 6, 2012

No Pintrest

I just want to take a moment to acknowledge that the so called "Proverbial Woman" did not have Pintrest. She did not have Dana-made-it, she did not have I am Baker.  But I would like to point out here that she had MAIDS.  Well played, Mrs. Proverbs, well played.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Pondering Questions

My kids constantly ask me questions.  Can we buy doughnuts?  Why this?  Why that?  Where does the food go after I eat it? Why are some people mean?  Is God real?  Will the dentist hurt me?  Does the baby know how to suck yet?  Can we get the baby a sucker- I mean, a dumb-dumb?

Today, as I was getting ready to answer the question of "Where does the food go after I eat it?" I realized that My kids are going to be geniuses!  Seriously.  I figured, if I thoroughly answer every single question that my kids ask, (or at least the ones I know the answers to,)  my kids will grow up being really smart.  Then I was thinking about how every 2-4 year old I've known asks a ton of questions. I suppose this continues on throughout life, but preschool aged kids probably win the "Most Questions Asked in a Day Award."  As I was thinking about it, I figured, if all kids are asking these questions why aren't all our kids smarter?

In our society, I suppose that children are often viewed as something of a burden.  I guess maybe that translates into even how we view the enumerable questions that kids ask.  Because as I thought of all these things, I remembered how frustrated parents can seem to get about their kids asking them all these questions.  "Ridiculous" questions. "Already Been Answered 10 times" questions. "How in the world would I know the answer to that" questions.  I wonder how kids would be if parents across the board would view them as future adults.  If we viewed their curiosity as a blessing, rather than an annoyance.  If instead of telling them off, maybe we would look at it as investing in their love for learning.

If there is one thing that makes me crazy, its a kid, or an adult, who doesn't love to learn.  If parents would learn to fuel curiosity and learning, how it would affect children's perception of education?  Hmmm.

"What would it be like if we taught our children to love learning?"
That's my question.